After weeks of futile searching, I finally got my hands on a paper copy of The Onion this week. (For those who don't know, The Onion is a satirical news organization.)  After I had read through it, I pondered out loud, "how about satirizing The Onion?" This thought quickly evolved into a debate about whether or not a satire of a satire is indistinguishable from reality. While the debate itself did not end in a conclusion or compromise (distraction by LOLcats may have been a factor), I took upon myself the challenge of satirizing The Onion.

The Onion to Quit Fake News Business   

NEW YORK -- The world’s oldest satirical newspaper, The Onion, today announced that the issue dated 7/22 would be its last reporting fake news, and that it will reinvent itself as a tabloid exclusively covering reality shows.
“Products placements are far easier to work in when delivering real news that matters to real people,” said Editor Joe Randazzo, while munching a lightly toasted Dunkin’ Donuts Cinnamon Raisin bagel with Reduced Fat Onion & Chive Cream Cheese Spread.
“People kept thinking the products we promoted were as fake as the news we delivered, and that did not go well with our advertisers,” he said with a sad sigh, taking off his Ray Ban Aviator sunglasses to reveal a hint of a teardrop.
“It was hard for us to keep making things up that actually wouldn’t happen,” said an Onion contributor who wished to remain anonymous, “I thought the story I came up with about an African-American man and an ex-President’s wife fighting for the White House would be the most absurd thing ever, but reality proved me wrong.”
“Screw fake news; I’d rather write about Snooki and Speidi”, he added.
The Onion was also facing increasing competition in the fake news business from rival Fox News.  Fox News declined to comment on this development.

P.S: A reader of an early draft of this "news item" commented that it looked less like a satire and more like an homage to The Onion. Isn't that ironic?



"Good News, Everyone!"

I started this blog nearly three years ago, for a variety of reasons, and none of them matter so much any more.  (To add to that, in three years, I've yet to title the damn thing. )

Therefore, effective today, I have decided to discontinue blogging for good.  (Cue your cheers)

However, I'm not done (booooo).  I have now decided to foray into a new, untested medium -- video!  The same puns, snarkiness and sarcasm which often characterize my blog posts in the form of characters on screen, will now manifest themselves in the form of... characters on screen. But in video!

I was going to write about the background of this project--how it was conceived, tempered, and brought to fruition.  However, I'm feeling lazy; I won't.

The theme of the show is pretty much going to be some amateurs being immature (and thinking they're being clever with their channel name), delivered to the audience (?) through the thrillingly dramatic media of instant messaging and internet relay chat, with a bunch of internet memes and references thrown in for good measure. 

If that sounds like something you'd be interested in participating in, why yes, we're hiring (if by 'hiring' you mean 'seeking people who have time and/or money to spare on recording their chats and not get paid for it').  Comment on the video and let us know.  (But before that let a couple dozen people know about the video, heh).

In any case, here's the Pilot.  The planned update schedule is the same as it was for this blog: "when it's done."

P.S: Remember when I said I won't be blogging any more? Bwahahaha, April Fool's! I'll still be blogging. Too bad for you. 

P.P.S: Despite what you hear about Portal2, the cake is still a lie

P.P.P.S:  I just realized how close "Still Alive" sounds to "still a lie".  COINCIDENCE?  Probably. Meh.