"Contradictory Proverbs III"

In today's episode: "Time and tide wait for no man" vs "Good things come to those who wait".

Good things come to those who wait? I call B.S!  More like "he who waits, gets left behind" or "time and train wait for no man, and especially not for me".  And I'm not just saying this because I'm bitter I missed a train waiting for others to get ready (and oh the irony, they successfully caught it!).  

Seriously, the train is never late when I am.  (Of course, this applies only to departures.  My arrivals are routinely several hours late.)

Oh and speaking of trains, here's a train of thought for you to pursue:

An empty train carriage is running out of control down a track.  In its path are 5 people who have been tied to the track by a mad philosopher.  Fortunately, you can flip a switch which will lead the carriage down a different track to safety.  Unfortunately, there is one person tied to that track.

Would you flip the switch?

(... to be continued. Some time.  Maybe.)

"Time Travel Theory"

Donnie : Where did you come from?
Frank : Do you believe in time travel?

(Frank is the <spoiler>time-travelling ghost rabbit</spoiler> from Donnie Darko.)

So, do you believe in time travel? Of course, everyone time travels--as you're reading this, the seconds are passing by and you're travelling forward in time. But obviously, that's not the kind of time travel I'm talking about here.

The possibility of visiting the future, and/or changing the past has always fascinated humankind. Time travel is a popular recurring theme in books, TV shows, movies and even games. Great philosophers such as Cher and Lene Nystrøm have wondered aloud what they would do if they could "turn back time".

Is time travel really possible? The answer (of course) is "it depends". :)

For a possible explanation of how time travel might work, one has to go deep into the nature of "time", and that of the universe itself. While an in-depth discussion is beyond the scope of this post, a brief description follows.

We all know the three dimensions--length, breadth and depth, but it is hypothesized that there are at least 10 dimensions (some say 11, some say 26...). It is tough to explain this because the concept is almost impossible to visualize with the capacity and capability of the human brain.

Now think of time as just another dimension. “Time travel” thus just becomes a linear journey along a single dimension. Imagine you are climbing a ladder or walking along a road. As you climb higher (or walk further) you can see things that you couldn't see before. If you climb down the ladder (or walk back), you can again see the things you were seeing before. Now suddenly, time travel doesn't look all that far fetched--you move forward in time and see things that are going to happen; you move backward in time and see things that have already happened. (Of course, this is an overly simplistic view and ignores a lot of variables, but I think is sufficient to get the point across.) This linear movement in the 'time' dimension can be called a 'timeline'.

So far so good. Now, let's complicate this further. Suppose, at every instant in time (here an ‘instant’ is unfathomably small), the "main" timeline splits into infinite other timelines, where each timeline varies from the other by the tiniest amount possible. Every single event that can occur at an instant, and all combinations of other events that can occur simultaneously, are covered by one unique timeline. Now we designate one of these simultaneous timelines as the "primary timeline".

Thus at every instant there exists one primary timeline, and infinite “tangential timelines”, which are nothing but timelines where the infinite other possibilities (which didn't happen in the primary timeline) happen.

Still with me? Great! To understand the next part, one must first know an important characteristic of a hologram -- every part of a hologram contains all the information possessed by the whole. So, if you split a hologram, you will end up not with two halves, but in fact with the equivalent of two (but smaller) wholes.

So now, how about we view the “universe” as one gigantic n-dimensional, extremely detailed, super-hologram, where all possible timelines exist simultaneously? This would mean that every smallest ‘part’ of the universe contains ALL the information in the universe. What does this imply? For one, you and I are part of the universe and hence we would contain within ourselves all the information in the universe--past, present, and future!.

Clearly, then, you already know everything that has happened, and everything that will happen. You just don't know which one is going to be the 'primary' timeline at a given instant of time.

(This of course leads to a lot more questions, the answers to which are beyond the scope of this discussion. For example, what determines which timeline becomes the primary? Is there a single primary timeline for the whole universe or does each entity in the universe have its own primary timeline from its point of view?)

The primary timeline at any instant is what is perceived to be the "present". However, under certain circumstances it is possible to access information in other timelines (these timelines may or may not be at the same 'instant' in time) and this inter-timeline information exchange is what leads to phenomena like 'premonitions' and 'deja vu'.

Once "the present" is defined so, "time travel", including changing the past and peering into the future, becomes a matter of simply(?) choosing the right timeline!

See how simple that was? And if I'm right, you knew this all along!

(P.S: Does some of the content of this post sound familiar? Then you also know why!)

"hexium's Laws"

hexium’s Law of Research Citations:

83% of people who claim “research has shown that” can not produce citations to back their claim.

(Note: This is consistent with the law that 83% of all statistics are made up.)

—

hexium’s Law Research of Blogs:

Research has shown that 97.3% of all blogs are overrated.

—

hexium’s Law General Rule of Disclaimers

As a general rule, when people say “this is not directed at any one” or “this is not intended to offend any one”, it generally is.

Corollary (a.k.a the Law of Internet Forum Moderation):  

When people start a post with "I'll be modded down for this..." they generally won't be. 

—

hexium’s Law of Surveys:

For every survey, there is a survey with an equal and opposite finding.

—

hexium’s Law of hexium’s blog posts about hexium’s laws:

hexium will forget what other laws he intended publish in this blog post.

(But they were funny, he promises.)

"69"

Hay Guise!! 

My previous post ("Miss Steaks") was the 69th post on this blog! Just thought I'd let you guys know!  Thanks!!

Ok fine, I admit. I just wanted an excuse to use the sex on the internet (no not what you're thinking) tag.  If you got here by clicking on the tag, it worked! Muahaha.

But sorry I tricked you.  To make up for it, here's a parody of Bryan Adams's Summer of 69, dedicated to the thousands of IT professionals who fervently wake up early in the morning and travel to far away lands (i.e. Electronics City) every day for work.  Lyrics have evolved from the original post made at an "undisclosed location".  Yenjoy madi!

Shuttle #69

Got up at 6 in the mornin’
Still was runnin’ out of time
Waitin’ by the ol’ bus shed
For the shuttle #69

Me and some guys carpooled
I had a ride and we tried real hard
Some quit, and others got married
I shoulda known... EC’s quite far

Oh when I look back now
The journey seemed to last forever
And since I have a choice
Yeah I’d always wanna go by
Shuttle out of fear for my life

(Chorus)

Ain’t no use in complainin’
Since you got a job to do
Spend the mornin’s inside the bus now
And then the evenin’s too!

Standing on the shuttle stop
Thought I’d have to wait forever
Oh I think you’d understand
I didn’t mind it whatsoever
‘Cos I was waitin’ with my future wife :) 

(Chorus) Back in the shuttle #69...

Man at any given time
Drivers drivin’ reckless
‘Round corners they turn blind
Hosur road can’t last forever - forever, no

And now the times are changin’
Look at everything that’s come and gone
Public displays of affection
Make people wonder what went wrong

Standing on the shuttle stop
You think you’d have to wait forever
But when the shuttle finally comes
You start your Hosur Road endeavor
Those are the worst times of your life

(Chorus) Back in the shuttle #69...

"The Diary of Jane"

[Author's note: Yes, I know it sucks (it didn't even make it to the top 500 from over a thousand entries). Tell me only if you have something else to say. 

Typos, grammar mistakes, etc. are those of the characters, not mine. 

Also, a note to readers who might be familiar with my other (now defunct) blog and might have seen a somewhat similar (and identically titled) post: It isn't plagiarism if you yourself wrote the original.] 

Chapter I: Newspaper Snippet

Feb 16, 2008.
Young Software Engineer Found Dead

CHENNAI: The body of a software engineer working for a reputed company was found at his residence today, in an apparent case of suicide. The police are investigating the matter -Agencies.

---

Chapter II: The Note

To Jane (the only one I ever loved),

During my college days I made fun of all my friends who said they were in love. I never believed in the concept of love… until I saw you. The date was Dec 28, 2007 -- my first day in the company.

I still remember that day... your amazingly cute smile, the way you gently ran your fingers through your hair, the way you slowly and gracefully blinked your eyelids – I was bowled over!

Two long weeks passed before I finally got to talk to you. You have no idea how elated I was when I got your phone number! The sense of elation when I got a message from you, the way my hands got clumsy when you were around, the way my heart skipped a beat each time I saw you…

Yes… I was definitely in love!

Then our training period got over and you got your posting in Bangalore. When you were leaving, I tried my best to tell you about my feelings for you (it was Valentine’s Day!), but I just could not muster up the courage…

With you gone, I thought to myself, better late than never. I SMS’d you, professing my love, and waited for your reply… It never came! I tried calling you… several dozen times. You didn’t even pick up!

Don’t you want to talk to me anymore? Why are you doing this to me? Why, Jane, why? I cannot live like this…!

A wise man once said, “’tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all”. I don’t know if you will even know, or care, about my fate. But this will be forever true – I will always love you.

Yours forever,

Jack.

P.S: Mom, Dad, I am sorry.

---

Chapter III: The Diary

[28Dec07]

Dear Diary,

First day in new company!! Saw a guy in the canteen today, he was cuuuute :D (I think he was checking me out, hehe). Hope I get to know him better!

Mood: hopeful

[11Jan08]

Dear Diary,

I finally talked to him today! A friend introduced us. He is a reeeally nice guy, he is as sweet as he is cute!! Seems to be a clumsy fellow tho, he dropped sambar on his shirt!

Mood: floating

[14Feb08]

Dear Diary,

Valentine’s Day! And Im alone!

Was really hoping Jack would ask me to be his Valentine :(

I know he likes me, I can tell! Poor guy, I think he’s just too scared. But that is soooooooooo cute! :D

Anyway, in the train now, will be in Bangalore tomorrow!

Mood: mixed emotions

[15thFeb08]

Dear Diary,

First day in new city! And I lost my phone! :(

Mood: Bummed.