"Application Season"

Ah. It's that time of the year again, when everyone and their dog gets bitten by the 'study abroad' bug. Having been through the ordeal myself, I thought to myself, why not help the thousands of confused souls out there? These tips have been painstakingly compiled from mine (and others') experiences. Follow them to the letter, and you should have no problem getting into that dream university of yours!

How To Get Into Your Dream University

1. Apply As Late As Possible

One of the best kept secrets of the admissions process is that the admissions are based not on a ‘queue’ system, but rather on a ‘stack’ system – First In Last Out (FILO). Imagine a stack of papers (applications) on the admission officer’s desk. The later your application reaches them, the higher up in the stack it is. Now imagine how the committee would evaluate the admissions – the ones on the top of the stack get evaluated first! So, don’t listen to the so-called pundits who tell you to apply ‘as early as possible’. Get your application in as close to the due date as you dare.

2. Prepare a Generalized Statement of Purpose

It is not worth the time and effort to rewrite or tailor your SOP for every university you apply to. Have general statements like “I will be greatful [sic] if offered a chance to study at your esteemed institution” and “I am ideally suited for this course”. Send the same SOP to all universities.

3. Don’t go with ‘safe bets’

Safe bets are for sissies. Aim high and fly, or die.

4. Don’t Look Up The College Rankings

They’re just a money-making ploy by USNews. And the NRC is just pure evil. They haven't (as of this publication) released their rankings to the public!

5. Alphabet Soup Recommenders

For your letters of recommendation, don’t approach the professors whom you have worked with the most, and/or those who are very familiar with your work. Instead choose the ones who have the highest number of degrees on their nameplate. The unis love it when the letters contain more about your professors' qualifications than yours.

6. Give The GRE Before All Else.

Give the GRE first, and then decide what you want to do (and where) based on your score. Do NOT do the following: do your researches in advance, decide where you want to be, learn what GRE score is necessary to get you there, and go out and get that score. Start on your university list only after you get your GRE score. You may have to spend a couple hundred dollars to send them your scores through ETS, but that’s okay.

7. Do Your Own Thing

Don’t visit sites like Edulix.com. Don’t share experiences with others who have gone through (or are currently going through) similar experiences. Don’t ask the seniors currently in your target colleges about the course and facilities there. You don’t want to be biased now, do you?

Glad I could be of help. Please let me know through the comments if you found this article helpful (and/or send money). Cheers.

Statutory disclaimer: If you obey this advice, you're a moron. <-- apparently this wasn't clear enough. People seemed to be taking the article at face value.