"First Crush"

Ah, my first crush.

I saw her for the first time
She was with another guy
But I was smitten completely
By her gorgeous curves
She was so beautiful
A beauty contest winner
She was wearing a crown
I stared at her longingly
But all I got back was
This cold, emotionless stare

A few days later I saw her again
With a different guy this time
He was holding her in his arms
I was angry and disappointed,
Jealous and heartbroken, but
I was never gonna give her up
I was never gonna let her down

Then one fine day somehow
I summoned all my courage
Timidly I went closer to her
I put my arm around her hips
Ran my fingers down her cold back
God how sweet are you, I thought
I drew her lips closer to mine
I could feel the excitement in the air
I looked at her one last time
Then I closed my eyes

When our lips finally touched
Time seemed to stand still
My teeth felt a cold chill
I had a brain freeze
Tingling sensation on my tongue
Bittersweet orange-y taste

Ah, my first Crush. *sigh*

20080524 Update: Repaired broken linky.

"Bovine Intervention"

Who let all the cows loose on the street? X(

They're always getting in my way when I'm riding. And they move so very slowly, without a care in the world, showing no concern for the massive traffic jams they're causing.

You still ask me what's my beef with cows? :/

"Lies"

The hardest thing to do in the world is to frame a perfect, internally consistent lie*.

On the surface it looks to be harmless enough to tell someone a small "white lie". But if (or more likely, 'when') questioned about it, you have to make up another lie to cover up your original lie. One lie will lead to another and eventually you'll be lying buried in a pit of your own lies.

Now the truth, by definition, is internally consistent. You may forget the truth, but you don't have to make it up or remember different truths for the same event. That's another problem with lying -- you don't remember whom you've told what version of your lie. (Maybe I should invent a version control system for lies -- I could call it ClierCase**!). With a lie, it becomes tougher and tougher to maintain internal consistency the longer it goes on.

Therefore, the challenge is to create a lie that is completely and totally consistent and will stand up to any amount of scrutiny (and is not 'cake').

Protip: It helps if you convince yourself of the truthiness of the lie.


* Of course, the whole theory is bound by the HUTD, so YMMV (Your Mileage May Vary).

** This counts as prior art for any future patent applications from person(s) (other than me) for any form of version tracking or controlling system for lies.